Masculinity Is A Bitch
1. Pentagram "Forever My Queen"
2. Ruby Andrews "I Want To Be Whatever It Takes To Please You"
3. Bassholes "Puddin' Tane"
4. Sister Ray "You Can't Push Me Away"
The whole “Metro-sexual” craze has totally hit the street with a steel toed boot and a buzz cut. Every second or third guy you see, has a ribbed turtle neck on, quite a bit of gel up in their frosted doo, and some leather shoes that come with the trusty Pilgrim Buckle. I work with a girl that is a Cosmetologist by day, that was telling me about her brothers friends who come to her on the low-low for some shaped up brows and Mani-Pedis. That shit was real far out to me. They were scared to be seen doing it, but the finished product of themselves wasn’t embarrassing? Hmmm. This type of shit would have probably gotten you laughed at then a motherfucker 10 years ago.
Every guy has some color or product in their hair. Dudes straightening their every day before they will leave the house. Making sure their bangs are sitting just right over their favorite eyebrow. Every guy has some rings or other jewelry hanging from their silky and buttered hands and necks, too much cologne; maybe some jeans they picked up in the Junior Miss Dept hugging in tightly, and walletless because now they have a purse. Guys want to work in clothing stores, or some other labor less, lower body type of position. They want to be thought of as sensitive, concerned, self aware, and super clean wine drinkers (even though a large percentage of these shit-holes are just ‘bout it for the pussy).
Guys are so soft handed now it’s crazy. And unfortunately this extends beyond your flat ironed, mall employed guys. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been around a motherfucker who refused to perform a task because they didn’t want to get dirty. What type of shit is that? All ages, most classes, it doesn’t matter. Don’t you remember when you were a young boy (or girl) and every man around you could fix almost anything, or at least they would give that shit a whole hearted shot? Men had fucked up hands, facial scars, tough jobs, not much time to relax, not a whole lot to say, and when they did speak it was really insightful or fucking hilarious. Although I was always in admiration, and constantly inspired by it, I had my own personal issues that pretty much have crippled me from allowing myself to do anything truly constructive for a larger portion of my life. This also includes caring about or realizing anything outside of my own mind.
Even though when I was 14 I thought that these guys were dumb, they were still my Heros. Which, intellectually, they really were dumb. But so fucking what? They have all of us beat on everything else. It’s actually, their wisdom, hard work, and commitment that has spoiled and afforded us the leisure of “Intellect”.
Take care of yourself and handle your business. Take care of your woman’s every need. Not just her bar tab, or telling her which blouse to wear. Be her handy man. Feed and teach your kids. Do right. Work hard. Build a home. Fuck $50 hair cuts, $100 blue jeans, clean finger nails, waxed eye brows, matching socks, showers everyday, breathy lead singers, talking your self out of a fist fights, diaries, not liking heavy metal, scarves with t-shirts, pouty facial expressions, "sex lines", what you eat, and what you listen to. Shut up, and be a goddamn man.
I would like to thank the following for being around when I was growing up. Helping me to not be a total pussy my entire life:
Mr. Leroy Looper (Helmet Head)
There are too many more. These are just the ones on the tip of my mind. Please leave a comment with a couple of your Male influences in the comments section.