Friday, March 10, 2006

When I get hype, i do more damage than a crack pipe!

1. Tuff Crew "Gimme Some"
2. Chi Ali "Step Up"
3. Positive K "One To Tha Head"

I think that everyone who considers themself at least a moderate fan of music, has formed a fantasy band in their mind. I know I've had thousands.

Now, I have rock bands, R&B groups, R&B solo acts, rap groups; sometimes I'm a backup singer, or the bassplayer. All eras, all genres, all positions, its fucked up.

Today, I got an idea for a new rap fantasy group. Now, keep in mind that in my rap fantasies, I am usually a 300lb black dude, with a jolly personality, but will still yoke your ass. (Oh, and its usually like 1989.) Anyway, this group includes my 2 best friends in the world, Heppy, and Sweat. Heppy is a little dude, screams all of his verses and jumps around like he's about to watch somebody get that ass whooped. He probably would wear like, a ski mask and shoelaces that didn't match and shit. Sweat, is kind of like Prime Minister Pete Nice; glasses, ice grill, turtle neck and a rope chain, smaking you in the face with monotone critiques, and fag jokes. Me? I'm, like a said before, a big fat dude wearing a starter jacket and a huge ass rope chain, that is just straight clowing you like its the elementary school playground. I'm the dude that is talking about fucking your sister, telling you that you smell like fart, and all that, but I still keep it gangster on some Chi-Ali type shit. Yea, and in case you didn't already guess, we all rock variations of the Kane flow.

We would just rap about rap, and how you suck at rapping.

The point of this blog, and the name of this fantasy group is This, That, & The Third.

Sweat would probably be This, Heppy would most likely be That, and since I was blessed with at least 2 other assholes sharing the same name as me (in real life) I will naturally be The Third.

Yea, there is no point in me sharing this. Its extremely irrelevant, even to me. Its an ill concieved, 1 dimensional, fantasy rap group I made up in a day dream I had 20 minutes ago. So, if you don't get it, and you think its corny, gobble a bowl-a-dick up.

You get the fucking GAS FACE!!! (ooogaadaooogaadaooogaadabbbbbbbbb)

Tha Third '90


Blogger Hep Cee said...

Lifting weights will make you bigger.

Lift me...

well, you know.

Are we having band practice today? Sweat's coming to get me around 10 a.m.... we're going to get a nickel sack and some dust, so you get the MD 20/20 (the green kind, foo) and we'll roll out to the jockey lot and and battle rap for motherfuckers' sneakers and shit. Then we'll go to the studio (your house) and practice our routines. (Did you see them moves Kane pulled at that VH1 shit? If those guys could hold him up, I'm pretty sure me and Sweat could lift your fat ass).
Anyway, this bitch is straight stressing me to come back to bed (you know how a player do) - so I'll let this one marinate in your cranium:

"Damn, I'm good, If you could than you would/
but you cant, so I'll rip this like 3 said I should/
Too much funk for the bunk, so they step back/
A mammal with a Camel in my mouth from the hard pack/
Packin a bowl just like I'm jackin a tollbooth/
The high-way is my way, I'm here with the whole truth/
Lies in your eyes but I'm better than senators/
Solid with knowledge, and I hope that your gettin yours/
A river amphibian, giver of oblivion/
every line, every rhyme, every time the crowd gives me/
the applause, I pause - what's the cause of this madness?/
-It's me and my mic and my crew and my badness"

Yeaaaaah, 1990 style boyee. (for real!)

Peace in the middle east,
Heppy Tourettes

9:04 AM  
Blogger ovulationist said...

Thanks This!

I'll see you in a bit. Heres the rhyme i'm working on for todays practice.

Youre a clown, ridiculous, your girl would rather get this / well dressed with a nice fade, you dont know who youre messing with.

Third. Real nice with an ill verb / I'm the king of the block and you's the neighborhood herb.

You should should stick you what you son, playing with kids toys / leave the macking up to me, and leave the work up to big boys.

Cuz steppin' with ya weak ass rep is a no-no / yer game is loose and everything about you is so-so.

I'll check you at practice Hep. Maybe around Noon.,

Peace, and all that.
Thirds, The Word

9:47 AM  
Blogger Hep Cee said...

"Son, you wanna come with that humdrum bubblegum?/
candy ass rapper - you a sucker like dum-dums/
why even try? It's a riddle, a conundrum/
I am the guy where the fly styles come from"

Fresh for '06.. with the key... SISSY!


3:16 PM  
Blogger Hep Cee said...

oh yeah, I almost forgot....

"Square-ass confederate, boy you know you better get/
back into line with rest of the idiots/
I am the triple-shit, 3 times what you can spit/
i am a man and you're just a little kid/
think you're the third? not even close, guy/
the top 3? - Me, myself, and I/
numbers 4 through 1000 -they're all taken/
so call yourself "a thousand one" and stop fakin"

oh snap...

11:28 AM  
Blogger ovulationist said...

Keep on running your yam-yam, its alright with troop / cuz if your rushed me in real life that ass would get scooped...

Up like hot pile, of corny ol' dogshit / I'll punish and penetrate. Put my dick on your chicks tits.

Fucking and fucking but you still aint coming / you keep cramming it in but can't concieve nothing

Just keep sucking and sucking it makes more sense in your case / plus i been meaning to ask out how this helping of dick tastes.

See ya!!

11:39 AM  
Blogger Hep Cee said...

Always on that gay shit - I'm not surprised/
Ive been seeing how you give me those bedroom eyes/
I know you want me cuz I'm a real man/ -
I'm like Kool Moe Dee, and you're Larry Levan/
so you can just vogue your ass out the door/
cuz I don't want you on my nuts no more/
go do some bumps in the bathroom stall/
I seen your name on the wall "for a good time call.."

and I'm out

11:48 AM  
Blogger Heath said...

it is common knowledge that Hep Cee took this, right? im saying, tho..Big Daddy Kane styles for days.

3:55 AM  
Blogger Heath said...

oh yeah, in your tried to link my blog site, but you forgot to include the hyphens.

but all of that is going to change in within a month. the blog will be moved to a section in

easier to remember.

big tings for the 06. im telling you.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Heath said...

actually, I fucked that up..its

oops. you fags.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Heath said...

Listen boys, I dont wanna hear your weak shit cause I'm basically the author/
Hell, I probably wrote the period, the question mark, and the comma/
Probably wrote the first, second, and the third part of your saga
Yeah I hear ya say ya hard, but I go harder
Yesterday, the day before, today and tomorrow
I blood sweat and tears, shit piss and saliva
Your cell/sale dead like you need a charger
no time for that rah rah, but i'll still act a fool/
Heath Sweat, motherfuckers never heard a name that cool.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Heath said...

Like Keisha, from New Jack City, the movie/
Rock-a-Bye BABY, yall muhfuckers is Pookie/
And why the fuck am I arguing w/ yall fags?/
Junkies huff paint, but yall huff cum in bags/
As a matter fact, don't even talk to me bout some pecks,muscles,ass or dick/
I ain't gay, I can only tell you bout clits and tits/
and thats true to the saliva in my mouth that I spit/
That shit..and fuck a baby daddy motherfucker/
I be creepin in ya crib,wiping my nuts with ya baby's sucker/
Yeah, im crazy,but bitches can't hate me/
But, really i dont love em, and yall cant make me! ... NOPE!

yall fuck boys need to get that sugar outcha tank. yall looking real weak right about now. Step ya game up,faggots!

5:26 PM  
Blogger Heath said...

All I gotta pull my Town Car out once/
and watch ya girl drop my boxers like a knockout punch/
Now what was I talking bout? oh yeah, my Lincoln/
you'll never get in without smelling it stinking/
as a result of the heavy blunt smoking and drinking/
Bob Villa could't hold my tool/
or slow my groove/
I (used to)have the Ruger 9 P89 that 5-0 use/
And I spit so retarded, when I flow I drool/
Yall aint sick, like a kid staying home from school/
They say I aint the same..Sweat ahead of the game/
but i'm a hustla, I could sell Erica Cain(e)/
My Air Force Ones stay fly like that faggot Dubya's plane/
and i'll red-dot ya nose like that Rudolph dude/
Next day-front page..oops..The Greenville News/
I can hang you by your Nikes with ya shoes all tied/
To see ya (Nike Swoosh)checks upside down like the Newport Sign!


5:53 PM  
Blogger Hep Cee said...

The only "sweat" I'm feeling is under my nutsack/
All on my balls and straight up in my buttcrack/
I'm anything but wack, you need to shut up, jack/
Like Sweetness I'll make you look dumb when I cut back/
Young Heezy? Oh pleazy - you can't fool this veteran/
Just like them dope boys Hep Cee's got that medicine/
Pressing rewind? man, I'm sending your tape back/
The record, cd, mp3 AND the 8track/
I love spittin hate raps
I hate all that gay crap
just like a dame out of line,
get your face slapped
No one can touch me-
the boy in the bubble
you couldn't see me with a telescope, Hubble
I'm over your head, pa
like christmastime mistletoe
kissing my fist
the next time that you dis me, ho"


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